How to Practice Sabbath as a Family

‘Mom!’ My 8 year-old hollered, bolting into the kitchen. ‘I need to get on the tablet and work on my essay!’

I peered at her through the steam of my coffee. Leaving homework for the last minute isn’t usually her cup of tea. I took a long sip from my mug.

‘Did you forget to do your homework?’ I prodded.

‘No,’ she stumbled. ‘My essay’s just not perfect.’

There it was. That sneaky word: perfection. Creeping into her vocabulary already.

She’s only in the third grade, so I was pretty sure her essay was fine. Maybe if she had a habit of procrastination, or struggled in writing….but with this one, neither was the case.

We live in a society obsessed with productivity. Everyone has a side-hustle. We’re all trying to climb the social ladder. Break glass ceilings. And for a while now, I had seen this mindset creeping into my oldest’s habits. The need for productivity and perfection. Identity found in work. It’s a sneaky seed that can take root in the hearts of even our children.

In that moment, I made a controversial decisision. I said ‘no.’ The essay could wait. She is more than her academic accomplishments. We would rest.

Rest is something our family values. It’s also something scripture values, giving it the word ‘Sabbath.’ A break from productivity. A day to remember our worth is found in more than what we make. More than what we do. More than who we are. Our identity is found in Whose we are. We bear the Image of the Living God. That’s where our worth is found.

What is Sabbath?

Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work,  but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

-Exodus 20: 9-11

The Sabbath is a day set aside for rest. A holy day. Exodus 20: 11 references the creation narrative for why we should rest. God created the world in 6 days, and on the 7th day rested. Are we more powerful than God? If God took a day to rest, should we not also? Though God does not need to regenerate, or recharge to produce more, he rested. We rest, because we must recharge. If we don’t rest, we’ll eventually burn-out. But even more than that, our worth is not found in what we produce. It is found in our identity as image bearers. We are created in the image of God. We, as people of the Kingdom, are God’s children. That is where our identity is found. We can rest.

If we scoot back in the passage to verse 10, we see that this rest is not just for the few elite, but for society as a whole! Both men and women. Servants. Foreigners. Everyone is called to rest. The reference to servants and foreigners given a day of rest speaks more volumes to the purpose of this day than simple piety. Those with more privilege and resources are often blessed with more rest. Their servants, and people below them in social status could be called on to care for them and provide rest. In our modern context, many of us are privileged enough, if we want to enjoy a night-off from cooking, we can out-source that to Grub Hub. We won’t be working. Instead, someone else will cook the food, do the dishes, and deliver our meal to us. The food does not come to us without work. We simply are not the ones working. Holy Sabbath allows everyone to rest, not just the wealthy. Noone has to serve anyone else and miss out on that rest. It’s a day made to serve the overworked and underpaid. They too, shall rest and have everything they need.

We see more of this purpose revealed in the minor prophets. Amos consistently criticizes the powerful for abandoning the Sabbath in relationship to how they treat the poor.

Listen to this, you who rob the poor and trample down the needy! You can’t wait for the Sabbath day to be over and the religious festivals to end so you can get back to cheating the helpless. You measure out grain with dishonest measures and cheat the buyer with dishonest scales.

-Amos 8: 4-5

Israel was guilty of oppressing those in less power. Celebrating when the Sabbath was over so they could pursue wealth, taking advantage of those with less.

We also see clues of Sabbath in the Gospels, when Jesus heals on the Sabbath, but is challenged by the teachers of the law.

Jesus asked the Pharisees and experts in religious law, “Is it permitted in the law to heal people on the Sabbath day, or not?” [4] When they refused to answer, Jesus touched the sick man and healed him and sent him away. [5] Then he turned to them and said, “Which of you doesn’t work on the Sabbath? If your son or your cow falls into a pit, don’t you rush to get him out?”

Luke 14:3-5

Sabbath is a day of rest. And it is also a day we honor the rest of others. It is a day we embrace the Image of God in ourselves. And a day we see the Image of God in one another. In healing the sick man, Jesus offered this man rest. He invited him into Sabbath.

How to teach Sabbath to Kids

At the beginning of my parenting journey, I was confident the concept of Sabbath was purely a ‘lesson caught.’ You know, something your kids pick up as do Sabbath together.

However, as my kids have grown older, and I see the messages the World sends their way:

‘Work harder,’

‘Do more,’

‘Be better.’

Those ideas are not just being caught, they are taught, bold and clear by the world around us.

So how do we teach Sabbath rest? 

A couple of tools I love for teaching about Sabbath are our Matthew 11:28 Snail Mail Kit and the Good Kind Family Sabbath Kit.

Matthew 11:28 Snail Mail Kit

Teaching rest starts by leading our kids to Jesus.

Jesus said:

‘Come unto me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.’

-Matthew 11:28

Jesus is our rest.

I think nature can also aid us in teaching our littles about holy rest. In the words of George Washington Carver, scientist, inventor, and beloved Sunday School teacher:

“I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every day, every hour and every moment of our lives, if we will only tune in and remain so.”

This is a sentiment I have followed in our Snail Mail Scripture Memory Kits, and our Matthew 11:28 Snail Mail Kit is no exception. Many parts of nature take a seasonal rest (hibernation). It’s necessary to their survival. Trees draw their nutrients into their roots, ceasing to produce leaves until spring. Many animals, including hedgehogs and bears, take a winter nap. Hibernation can teach us how essential it is to take a holy rest in Christ.

The Matthew 11:28 Snail Mail Kit includes a Scripture tattoo and scripture card to aid in memorizing the verse in both English and Spanish. It also includes an activity card with play prompts for exploring rest, and a nature scavenger hunt.

Pray n’ play with us by purchasing your own Snail Mail Kit. Use code CARACOL to get 10% off your order.

Family Sabbath Kit

Another tool I love for teaching about Sabbath is the Good Kind Family Sabbath Kit.

This kit features a box where distractions and items that represent our work go until the Sabbath is over. It also features a 5 week devotional exploring the purpose of Sabbath rest, an addition 21 weeks worth of scripture readings to help anchor your Sabbath days, and a liturgy for families to read together as they start and finish their Sabbath together.

Finally, the Family Sabbath Kit contains two decks of cards. One deck features Sabbath scripture readings. The other contains play prompts for families to really lean-in and enjoy life with God and one another. Some of my favorite prompts are:

• Go on a quest to find the best doughnut your town has to offer.
• Visit a museum.
• Build a house of cards.
• Movie night!
• Play hide and seek.
• Build something epic with Legos.
• Play a board game.
• Color a picture of your family.

The prompts vary in amount of prep and effort needed, but all are designed to cultivate lasting family memories.

How to practice Sabbath as a Family

Now here is the ‘lessons caught’ part of teaching Sabbath. Sabbath is a part of family culture.

Vern Bengston conducted a study on  how religion is passed down from one generation to the next. The study concluded that one of the biggest factors in determining if a child retains their family’s faith in adulthood is familial warmth. This is the culture and climate of the family as a whole.

Sabbath can be a powerful tool for developing this familial warmth. It’s a time of connection that creates memories and joy in a family.

I don’t believe there is one set way to engage in Sabbath as a family. What works for my family may not work for yours. I think the Good Kind Family Sabbath Kit can be a wonderful tool for families who prefer a little more structure, or are new to the concept of Sabbath.

However, the most essential piece is taking time to be together, enjoying God and one another.  Make memories. Creating space to just be!

When my husband and I got married, we set aside Saturday as a day to be togther. We wanted to start this habit from the beginning. This is the day that worked best with our schedules. Now that we have kids, it’s still a habit in our home.  Saturdays we choose to rest. Saturdays we are together. For us, Saturdays are Sabbath.

I’ve seen many people urge families to have Sabbath on Sunday, when your family goes to church. For some, that may work. However, I have never found Sundays especially restful. Growing up in a pastor’s family, Sundays were unmistakably work days. There was no rest on church days.

As I grew, and eventually moved-out, I still struggled to find Sundays restful. Instead, Sundays were a day that spiritual traumas came back to haunt me.  I stifled panic attacks in the back pew. Sometimes slipping-out early from overwhelm.  Sundays were a day where I worked on healing. Faced past wounds. A different type of work.

Now, by the grace of God, I have found a place of peace and belonging on Sundays, but they still are less restful than work-filled. Most Sundays we are pitching-in at Church, and getting together with friends. Not exactly restful for my introverted-self. So even now, I still pick a different day than Sundays to Sabbath.

For those in ministry, and those who have experienced Church trauma alike, Sundays are not Sabbath. If you fall into either of these, I strongly urge you to find a day to Sabbath outside of church days. For you, those are work days. Choose a different day to rest.

Another essential part of Sabbath is providing rest for others. In her book, Shalom Sistas, Osheta Moore reminds us we still live in a world where many people are deprived of the right to rest. Many people work multiple jobs to make ends meet. Days they are free from one job may be spent working another. And if they are parents, their few hours of free time are usually devoted to childcare and chores. There is very little time for rest.

Other people deprived from rest can be people in seasons where extra responsibilities have been plopped on their plate. Welcoming a new family member, or receiving a health diagnosis may also  deprive our community members of rest.

In her book, Osheta recalls a season where she struggled as a postpartum mother to both a toddler and a newborn. A lady in her community volunteered to do her laundry for her so she could rest. She prompts us to consider simple ways we can regularly provide rest to others. And I challenge us to think of ways we can invite our children into this practice.

Maybe we regularly:

-take a meal to a foster family in our community.

-rake leaves of an elderly neighbor.

-do laundry for a recently postpartum mom.

Remember, this is how Sabbath is caught. When we find ourselves in seasons where we have an abundance of rest, let’s do our part to provide rest to others, and bring our littles with us. Sabbath is for claiming our identity as image bearers, and seeing God’s image in others.

Sabbath Together

Sabbath does not have to be fancy. It’s about intention. It can be as simple as having a lazy day at home. Or an adventure going out and making memories together. It is a chance to rest in Christ, his love, his grace, and our identity in him.  In Sabbath we rest in God’s love, and offer that rest to others, because we all bear God’s image. Let’s pursue Sabbath rest in our families, bringing the Kingdom of God to earth.